That’s the opening line from my new novelette, available right HERE right NOW for less than a buck!


A HERO IS ALWAYS ALONE SOMETIMES is a foul-mouthed novelette about a chronic underachiever turned superhero…

After his wife dumps him for a mustachioed car salesman, Solomon is left with nothing but a broken heart and a flatulent dog. So he decides to win her back by proving himself… as the sidekick of the suave superhero UltraGuy! But when UltraGuy shuns him at the local supermarket, Solomon is forced to choose between giving up the woman of his dreams or going it alone against a batshit-crazy criminal mastermind.

Who the hell is Jonny Effing Lucas, you ask? I just thought it would be fun to fuck with my name. As a warning to potentially sensitive readers. People who can’t take it. Not you, you’re a bad-ass. I’ve seen you do some shit that, quite frankly, I’m surprised you survived. This story is for superheroes like you, so check it out..