Wrapped up in a tiny baggie was what appeared to be a necklace with a strange gold disk. But what could be inside the shiny amulet? What magical golden talisman could give me hope in the Trumpocalypse? What secrets could it—OH MY GOD!!!

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It’s the master of hopey/changey himself, Barack Obama! But what could it mean??? Having lost all hope for America’s political future, I rubbed it and made a wish… and dug deeper inside the bug-out bag…